A Seussical Spectacular!

I admit it. I threw an over the top (for me) birthday party. The pressure of society got to me. It was really fun, though and exceeded my expectations. I could not have done it without three very amazing ladies: Heather Moon, Miranda Ashmore and Natalie Jourdan. I am indebted to them for the rest of my life!

Here's the invitation. I got the idea from somewhere on Pinterest. Paul was able to copy that design on Photoshop using a Dr. Suess border package we got here.

Clearly the theme was nothing original, especially for twins. It was Dr. Seuss themed, specifically Thing 1 and Thing 2. But really, thanks to Pinterest why would I need to be original? Here's a picture of the cupcakes we made. I got the idea from here.

(The cotton candy does in fact melt quickly!)

Here is a great example of how I have a general idea of something in my head and my friends/family make it awesome! Aunt Heather through this together the morning of the party...

This is what the cupcakes were supposed to look like...

Here's the spread of food! I got various ideas from websites like this one as well as this one and made modifications to fit our menu. The awesome banner made by Natalie!

Goldfish Colors made me lie about the "Blue Fish"part. Thanks for making me look like a fool Pepperidge Farm!

Birthday Cake Oreo balls! So yummy! So yummy!

Delicious pasta salad via Paula Deen...

The hotdogs had not been put out yet. We used Nathan's brand. Love them!

My attempt to come up with a creative way to display the name cards for food. I had extra "hats," so I made these for centerpieces...

The borders for these cards came in the same package we purchased for the invitations.

We also had Beezlenut Juice (courtesy of Horton Hears a Who). Also known as blue Kool Aid, but I didn't get a picture of it. 

Happy Birthday To You! books people could write birthday messages in...

Here's a close up of the goody bags. There were various Dr. Seuss quotes on these that sounded something like: "it was a fun time, but now it's over" I was quite proud of these.

The birthday boy. He acted like the party was just another day in the life of Levi.

The birthday girl. She had the attitude "it's my party and I'll cry if I want to," and she did fuss off and on. Mostly if anyone tried to take her from her Mommy. That's stereotypical Allie.

They got lots of cute clothes and fun toys!

We kept having to get Allie back in the room to finish opening presents, but she did pretty good opening them...with her teeth!

Cake time! More like icing time. That's all they ate of it, and thankfully not all of it! Aunt Heather did an awesome job on their cakes!

We thought it looked like Allie was blowing out her candle here:

"I don't know about this..."

Poser!

I guess they liked it...

Allie was over the cake at this point. (Do you like me and Paul's themed outfits?)...

I think it's safe to say that we won't be throwing a huge party like this every year. I just can't handle that. Maybe every 5 and the big milestones like 13, 16, etc. I've got my heart set on a Princess and Pirate themed party at some point. At least I have a while to work on it and the best friends and family in the world that I can count on the make it just as special as their first. Levi and Allie in case you didn't know you are very loved big parties or not. 

Now if I could just accept the fact that my babies are already one year old...

Message in a Bottle: SOS

Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my children. They have taught me so much about God's love. Through them I've learned I can do a lot more on less sleep than I thought, that you can be selfless and selfish all in the same day, and probably things I haven't even realized. But being a mom is hard work!

Throughout the pregnancy Paul and I heard more times that we could count that our lives were going to change forever, and boy have they! Here is the part when I feel like I should say, "but I wouldn't trade it for anything", but that's not entirely true all the time. Do I wish I never had my precious children? GOODNESS NO! But it's days like this that I miss my freedom to do what I want when I want.

Life with twins isn't easy, pretty much all my waking moments involve doing something either directly or indirectly related to caring for my children. It's the same for Paul when he walks in the door from work, but that's the thing. He gets to leave and be outside of the house AND with people that can talk back to you! I'm not in any way trying to say Paul has it easy. He works hard in the hot sun, walking nonstop and carrying either a back pack weighing 40 pound or pushing something that weighs as much or more. Then he has to come home to us! I definitely don't want to trade places. I am blessed beyond measure to have the privilege to be home with my children and witness first hand every milestone they reach. THAT I wouldn't trade! By default, however, the twins and I come as a package.

Once upon a time, Paul and I could come and go as we pleased doing this or that. Now, Paul goes and does those things we would have done together while I am stuck at home due to the twins napping schedule. Depending on what it is I will meet up with him later, but getting myself and 8 month old twins packed up by myself for more than a couple hours is not fun and definitely not easy. It's not just that though, it's that I want to go be with adults too! To a degree, Paul has a whole lot more freedom than I do. In fact, the twins, especially Allie, are so difficult at night Paul asked that I not leave him with the responsibility of feeding them and putting them to bed on the weeknights! There goes that freedom!

So sometimes I feel trapped. Sometimes I miss the days when I could do what I want to do on my schedule. And if feeling trapped wasn't enough, I feel misunderstood, and I don't even know how to communicate my feelings without coming across as extremely selfish. Maybe because that's what it is, but that is not my intention. I just want to be a part of everything again. I love my life, but some parts are lonely. Even though I have a sneaky suspension I'm not the only one that feels this way.

I'll close with this cheesy old Sting song came to mind as I wrote:
  Just a castaway
   An island lost at sea
   Another lonely day

With no one here but me

More loneliness

Than any man could bear

Rescue me before I fall into despair

I'll send an SOS to the world

I'll send an SOS to the world

I hope that someone gets my

Message in a bottle [x2]

A year has passed since I wrote my note

But I should have known this right from the start

Only hope can keep me together

Love can mend your life

But love can break your heart

I'll send an SOS to the world

I'll send an SOS to the world

I hope that someone gets my [x3]

Message in a bottle [x2]

Walked out this morning

Don't believe what I saw

A hundred billion bottles

Washed up on the shore

Seems I'm not alone at being alone

A hundred billion castaways

Looking for a home

I'll send an SOS to the world

I'll send an SOS to the world

I hope that someone gets my [x3]

Message in a bottle [x2]

Sending out an SOS

Sympathizing with a Cow

I began exclusively pumping for my now nearly 8 month old twins when they were just 1 week old for a myriad of reasons. (I'm sure the title of this post makes a lot more sense now.) I was told I wouldn't be able to maintain a supply, and that it was extremely hard. Now, that second part is very true. But that first reason, at least in my case was far from the truth. In fact, one day I pumped a total of 102 ounces! You can probably imagine that building my supply became somewhat addictive, but I'm over it now and it won't go away! 

I was also told it wasn't worth my time. I heard this recently: "Oh that's a shame! They're not getting the good stuff." Seriously?! It's not like pumping was my plan all along, and if it wasn't the good stuff mothers wouldn't sacrifice so much to do it. So, you're wrong lady, they are getting the good stuff! (And yes, I know it's not the best way to get my milk...) That same woman made reference to the bonding we've missed out on, but I have a wonderful relationship with each of my precious children despite the bottle between us. 

After my 4th case of mastitis I decided to throw in the burp cloth. 

As I sit here completely engorged wondering how long it will take to get my little, but surely sagging "girls" back I reflect on this experience and put into perspective just how much I asked of myself and my body these last 8 months.

Approximate time spend pumping: 700 hours

Approximate ounces pumped: 18,400

Approximate calories burned: 345,500

All of this only leaving me with a freezer stash of just over 6,500 ounces. Hoping and praying that will last my sweet babies until they are one year old.

I praise God that my cup (or bottles) runneth over! I thank Him for giving me the ability and strength to be able to do this for them (not just for our health, but to save a lot of money). But happy mother's day to me (and birthday) that I'm not doing it anymore!

So, diary cow, I salute you! I feel for you! I appreciate you! Not that you have a choice, but thanks for all you do!

The 12 Hours' Sleep Journey: Part 3

I have to say I didn't think I would be writing the conclusion to this journey so quickly! Obviously with infants the smallest change can cause regression and constant reinforcement is necessary, so I know that just because they've slept good for a week or so doesn't mean our work is done. In fact, it's not uncommon to hear whining before 7:45 (our morning goal, so they'll be ready to eat at 8).

Usually it's pretty easy to get them back to sleep, though. For Levi if you just put the pacifier back in he's usually good to go a bit longer. It's going to be great when he can do that himself... And for Allie, she started sucking her fingers this week and since then we've had to wake her up from all naps and in the morning to eat! I know some people discourage it or try to stop it altogether, but if self-soothing is what I'm working towards then Allie's got it! I've done some research. It doesn't give you crooked teeth like everyone says, and it only causes problems with the child's bite, usually an overbite, if they continue to do it past age 5 when problems can no longer correct themselves. I just need to make sure Allie's not like her mommy and does it until she's 11 (The dangers of home schooling...) Anyway, jumping off of that rabbit trail. If they do wake up before I'd like them to it's not the end of the world.

The book says 12 hours' sleep on the cover, but recognizes that not all people need 12 hours of sleep, so they're actually in their beds for 12 hours sleeping or chilling (for lack of a better term). If they want to lay in there awake that's fine. Of course most babies don't just lay in their beds happy, so we got them crib soothers, which provide some entertainment for them until it's time to get up, but sometimes it actually puts them back to sleep.

When all these things fail, and they will. They win. I'm not going to keep trying to get them to take a pacifier or look at the crib soother for 30 minutes if they don't want to, so we start earlier. Actually, as I began writing this at 7am the twins somehow knew it and wanted to show me who's boss. We're not going to make it to 8 this morning.

The hardest part about this schedule is keeping them awake between short naps and feedings, which are usually 2 hours after shorter naps. If they sleep too much during the day they won't sleep a long enough time at night. This involves a lot of entertaining on our part. I can't just let them play under their floor gym for an hour and do laundry or anything else that I want or need to do. They get tired of looking at the sea horse or monkey or whatever is hanging on there and need a change of scenery. I'm not looking forward to Paul going back to work and having to do this entertaining on my own. I've done it before, but not for this long. Usually I ending up holding one or both of them because that's all that will keep them happy in the end.

Overall, I'm happy with how things are going. They eat every 4 hours and only 4 times a day. They eat the same as they've been eating just more at a time. Usually between 25-28 ounces each a day. They typically go down easy for naps and sleep through them without waking up a hundred times like they used to, and most importantly they are in their beds, usually sleeping, for 12 hours at night (not that I get that much sleep, thanks to pumping I've still got to wake up at 6:30 anyway). I have it better than a lot of people with one baby.

I can't take all the credit for how well things are going, but I do think babies like routines a lot. People always say that God won't give you more than you can handle (which is taken out of context, but you know they say this). Well, God gave me two pretty manageable babies. Not manageable enough to take them grocery shopping with me by myself, but they sleep great, don't have colic, don't have gas, or any things that make babies really difficult. Obviously, God knew I couldn't handle even one of those, and I need to remember these things the next time I want to scream out loud because the twins are both screaming and nothing I can do makes them stop!

The 12 Hours' Sleep Journey: Part 2

Obviously no two babies are the same. My twins are different from each other in almost every way. They have their similarities. They both think the changing table is hilarious. They look up at the wall words and shadows on the wall and laugh it up. Oh to see through their eyes for one day! They are also the same in they they seem to fall into my schedule and routine easily.

We haven't actually started the steps I shared from the book in my last post. I am still working up to 4 hours in between feedings. We are at 3.5 hours now, but just to get myself used to some of the procedures, for lack of a better word, I have started following many "rules" from the book.

Here is one challenge we've already encountered with both twins: What to do if they wake up too early? The transition schedule, the schedule I came up with for five, 3.5 hour feedings, begins at 7-7:30am. Friday morning one of the twins began crying around 5am. We waited a couple minutes and when she hadn't stopped we went into the nursery to see if we could pacify her and get her back to sleep. Here's where their differences come in. It seems that she can deal with hunger a lot better than her brother. Obviously at 5am it's been 8 hours or so since she's eaten and if we got her up she'd take a bottle no problem. But she's also still sleepy, and with her, on this morning, sleep won. We put her pacifier in her mouth and patted her for a couple minutes and she began to go back to sleep she woke up one more time, but was again pacified and didn't wake up again until we woke both of them to eat later that morning. So what would we have done if she hadn't been pacified? That is answered by what happened with the other twin the following night, in which he woke up, I believe because of a wet diaper. On any other night this wouldn't have been a problem, but we had a babysitter on this night who we neglected to tell to put disposables on the twins before putting them to bed for the night. They wear cloth diapers during the day, which aren't absorbent enough to last all night (a topic for another blog). He woke up with wet pajamas at 5:30am. Even if we hadn't had to wake him up more by changing his diaper and PJs I still don't think he would have been satisfied to suck on the pacifier. When he would wake up in the night weeks prior to this incident he would be almost hysterical until the bottle was put in his mouth, and this morning was no different. What can I say, he loves his food! So we had to give him something to get him back to sleep until the scheduled feeding. Taking the advice of the book I gave him a "snack." Two ounces to tide him over a couple more hours. He took the two ounces easily and went back to sleep. Success! Obviously we want to be able to get him back asleep without feeding him, but this was a special situation. He probably wouldn't have been up if he hadn't had wet PJs.

If he had been doing this constantly for any other reason we would follow the books' advice and slowly decrease the amount of "snack" each night and try to get him to last a little longer each night using the pacifier until he made it to the scheduled time. And by the way, don't you know he still pretty much ate his whole 6 ounce bottle I would normally feed him without the snack later that morning. That boy is going to be moving up those percentiles quickly!

I'm pretty confident that once we actually begin the steps toward 12 hours' sleep at night we will have success. Naps will be another issue, although those are getting better every day!

The 12 Hours' Sleep Journey: Part 1

With twins it is extremely important to have a schedule and routine that you follow everyday. Especially if you're like me. I need to have a plan or goal and not feel like I'm blindly stumbling through each day. Things do not always go as planned. I know that is a shock to you. I plan on taking a nap everyday, but it rarely happens.

The twins have been on a good feeding schedule, and go to bed surprisingly easy at night, but naps have become a nightmare as both twins had become cat nappers, which if you have experienced this you know you can't get anything started much less done in this length of time. I am in the process of breaking them of this habit.

I have a pretty good idea of what I need to do to have them sleeping and eating when I want, but I have a tinge of self-doubt when it comes to these things I guess because I want a book to tell me what I am doing is going to work. I was told about a book that sounded amazing Twelve Hours' Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old. I was skeptical and couldn't wait to read what unrealistic things it was going to tell me to do to accomplish this. Before the book even arrived I came up with a new schedule with not only set feeding times, but also set nap and awake times that I was determined to follow. When the book arrived, I was surprised to find that I was already doing several things it said to do. Not only that, but (to me) it didn't really have any unrealistic expectations or suggestions. It was so simple! I can do this, I thought!

Now, I know everyone is different. It's easy for me to have a routine because I'm organized. I also don't feel like I have to do everything the book says. I can adjust it to work for me and my babies. But I have a dream that my children will sleep long and hard, and that I can just kiss them and say I love you and goodnight, and not spend hours putting them to sleep. I know this is possible, but it doesn't mean it's easy.

So, back to 12-hours' sleep. I hear stories about peoples' kids waking at the crack of dawn and getting them to sleep later in the morning means putting them to bed later. But the twins were already sleeping 9.5 straight hours, so another 2.5 hours didn't seem out of reach. I'm not going to re-type the book, but basically you do four things once your children meet the weight/age requirements and can eat at least 24 ounces in 24 hours: 1. Feed every four hours in a 12-hour period, 2. Eliminate night feedings, 3. Sleep/rest quietly in crib for 12 hours at night, 4. Nap one hour in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon (I apologize if it's annoying you when I switch from typing the number and spelling it out. I know there are rules, but I forgot them).

Like I said I was already beginning to try to do these things, so this doesn't seem out of reach. The challenges will be there, though. They are learning to self-soothe, which means I don't pick them up as soon as I hear them cry I wait 3-5 minutes then I go in and try to pat them, put the pacifier back in, etc, whatever I can do to help them, but avoid picking them up unless I feel necessary since I aim at picking them up when they're happy, not crying, although that doesn't always happen. Another challenge is keeping them awake. They can barely stay awake for an hour and a half without wanting to sleep again. Right now they still take an evening nap, which will have to be cut out if I want them to sleep long periods.

I will have many more challenges and will be sharing them (along with victories, I hope!). It's going to take a lot of work and sacrifice on my part. I may not be able to do things that interfere with our routine, since that can hinder progress. For example, I may not be able to attend bible study on Wednesday nights because keeping the twins awake, but also quiet would be very difficult! However, I am willing to do it if it means I can know they will sleep 12 hours a night and take naps so I can have me time!

Feel free to pray for me or offer any suggestions that might help me!

Here goes nothing...

My new life as a mother of twins (so far)

They say the last trimester of pregnancy is long. Try the first month with twins. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade this for anything...except maybe one last night of sleep (kidding). It's amazing, but very challenging, and here's why:



The c-section went great. Becoming a mother is an amazing experience, and of twins! Hearing them both cry for the first time was beautiful. It's not my favorite sound anymore, but at the time it was life-changing. After an hour or so in recovery they brought my precious babies to me and life was different.




Challenge #1: Breast feeding
Because of their size and some anatomical anomalies on my end Levi could only latch-on on one side and Allie couldn't latch on either side. Talk about a let down (and not in the breast feeding sense). So the lactation consultant tried to help, and not that long I might add, but ended up giving me a nipple shield. I have mixed emotions about this nursing aid. Was it the thorn in my side or the savior of my efforts? I will never know. But I found out that it was addicting to both Allie and Levi and then became to me a constant reminder that I hadn't fully succeeded and therefore was also a constant discouragement.

The length of time it took to feed Allie and Levi was about an hour on average. I felt like that was all I was doing, which I fully expected, but the single nipple shield I was given made it impossible to attempt tandem feeding. If I had succeeded in that I would have cut the time nearly in half. To make a long story short; I made the decision to begin pumping after one week. A decision I am glad I made, but thoughts of failure still linger for one reason or another (people who haven't succeeded in breast feeding know what I mean, and some of those who have succeeded make us feel worse).

So I pump. They get the good stuff. That's all that matters, right? Things are going well, except the fact that the thing that excites me the most these days is how much I'm able to pump and how large my milk supply is growing. How sad is my life!?

Challenge #2: Time
Almost everything with twins takes twice the time. This is obvious. Take bath time for example, Paul bathes one while I get the other one, and then we swap so I can dress the first one. Then we swap again so the one that bathed first gets fed and the second one gets dressed and fed. It's intense, especially since infants don't appreciate a bath, lotion rub, or getting dressed. Another time consuming thing is getting them to sleep. This is addressed in the next challenge.

Challenge #3: Getting everybody to sleep
Paul and I fall asleep pretty easily; as you can imagine, since we're awfully sleep deprived. Getting on average 3-hours of sleep between feedings, which usually includes a diaper change and a baby that may or may not be ready to go back to sleep for sometimes no apparent reason. It's so tempting to put them to sleep holding them or rocking them, etc, which we did and sometimes still do. It's amazing how quickly they get used to that. I don't know when you're supposed to let them "cry it out" (for lack of a better phrase), but Allie showed me she learned the system. It was obvious. She would cry after being laid down, we thought asleep, and immediately stop when picked up.  At the beginning of week three I decided that this was a habit I did not want to break when I was on my own, so their Grammy (a pro Mother of 9) and I set out to do it. The reason it was so important to me was that when I was on my own I didn't want to spend half my day trying to get each one of them to sleep completely. I love holding them and rocking them, and I do, but it's really important to me for them to learn to fall asleep on their own. For Moms who have gone through this it's hard to let them cry. The time you've decided to let them cry seems like hours, plus I had two little ones to break. I had to separate them because I was afraid they wouldn't go to sleep with the other one crying in the same bassinet. So they alternate in the crib and their bassinet.

I'm sure some people think I'm a terrible person for doing this so early or maybe for doing it at all, I question it every time. I think self-soothing, self-reliance, and whatever else they're learning is good for them and definitely good for me. Levi seemed to give-up easier than Allie. My Mother said she gets that from me. I think she's talking about being stubborn. I interpret it as being determined and committed to what you believe in...whatever you want to call it. For the record, my Mom claims I put myself on a schedule, so my unyielding  personality came later (the OCD I was apparently born with). Unless they're toying with us, it seems once they're fed, burped and changed we can lay them down and they'll go to sleep on their own. This is a huge victory!

Challenge #4: The schedule
For me this wasn't a challenge. It was a challenge for Allie and Levi, naturally. One thing I knew, however, was that I didn't want to let them dictate when they would eat for long. Feeding on demand is something I read I should do, because crying would cause neurological damage, or some such nonsense. I don't like uncertainty, so towards the end of the second week we began a feeding schedule that allowed them 3 hours between feedings during the day and at least 4 hours at night. I like to pretend like we're in control when even with the schedule newborns really still control your life. My strong characteristics like discipline and a tenacious desire for organization and structure have definitely come in handy in motherhood, especially with twins.

Obviously there are more than four challenges associated with parenthood and twins, but these are the big ones in my mind. The challenges will change and that's good, not only will I have more to blog about, but more importantly I will constantly be growing as a person and Mom.


I also said becoming a Mom was amazing. What an awesome responsibility to care for and raise children! It is not something for the faint of heart! It's amazing the love that is there when these precious little ones come into your life. When I'm holding Allie or Levi as they smile while sleeping after a satisfying bottle of Mommy's goodness, whether it's from gas or not. It brightens my day. When they're crying I try to laugh because sometimes there's nothing else I can do! I'm constantly reminded of God's blessing on my life, his provision, and the fact that every prayer I prayed during pregnancy has been answered so far.





One unexpected thing was how our marriage was strengthened. I knew Paul and I went well together. That's why we're married! (Duh!). But I didn't know what a great team we would make. Paul is an amazing husband and father. That's another amazing thing to watch. A man becoming a father. Not only that, but he is and always has been a huge help to me in everything that needs to get done around the house. And as foolish as this sounds (and at the expense of possibly embarrassing my husband), seeing all this change and maturity is very sexy. (Who knew your husband changing a diaper could do that to you!?)




So this gives you a small glimpse into my new life as a Mom of twins. There will be more to come! Things will be different when my Mom leaves this week! You may be wondering how I have the time to blog. Well, when you're pumping twenty minutes, seven times a day you've got to do something to pass the time!